


reach out, touch faith

by prismaticvoid



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Blood, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fantasizing, Hopeful Ending, Rough Sex, Sexual Inexperience, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:40:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27886927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prismaticvoid/pseuds/prismaticvoid
Summary: Ryne gets in over her head.
Relationships: Gaia/Ryne | Minfilia, Shiva (Final Fantasy XIV)/Gaia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: Consent Issues Exchange 2020





	reach out, touch faith

**Author's Note:**

  * For [graiai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/graiai/gifts).



> This fic contains discussion of consensual sex between teenagers, as well as rape of a minor by an adult (inasmuch as a primal possessing the body of a teenage girl is an adult). If either of those is potentially upsetting to you, please avail yourself of the back button. The blood mentioned in the tags is nongraphic but present.  
> Title from Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode.

They had kissed for the first time recently. Gaia, doing her best to appear worldly and sophisticated, had acted like she knew what she was doing, but that hadn't stopped their teeth from clacking together painfully. But once they sorted out how to position their faces, it went much better. Ryne's lips were even softer than Gaia had imagined, and she made sweet little sounds as they kissed that tugged on Gaia's heart. 

It was a month or so later, shortly after the Warrior of Darkness defeated Ifrit and Garuda, that Ryne had asked her shyly if she'd ever gone any further than kissing. They were curled up on their bedrolls facing each other, the night of the Empty still around them. They'd be heading back to civilization tomorrow, and Gaia was keenly aware that she was being watched every minute she wasn't assumed to be asleep.

She was tempted again to brazen it out and claim experience, but her nerves got the better of her. "I still have gaps in my memory but...I don't think so. I don't remember wanting to with anyone."

Ryne's face was just barely visible in the darkness, but Gaia could tell she was nervous. She was getting pretty good at reading the other girl. "It's okay if you don't, but..." she swallowed, "would you maybe like to try sometime?"

Gaia shivered involuntarily. Suddenly her mind was filled with questions: what would Ryne's face look like if Gaia reached out and slowly lifted the hem of her dress? Would she blush, or would she reach her arms up eagerly to help Gaia remove it? Did that cute blush stay on her cheeks and ears, or would it continue further down? Was every bit of her as soft as her face? What kind of sounds would she make if Gaia stroked a hand down her chest and belly until she reached the place between her thighs?

Abruptly she realized that Ryne was still waiting for a response. Shaking herself out of her reverie, she said, "I- I think I would like that." She reached forward and traced Ryne’s face with her fingers, wondering how she had gotten so lucky. 

  
  


But they hadn’t had any time to explore beyond that, not with both of them as exhausted as they were. Gaia was keenly aware that every time they used Eden’s power, it took a lot out of Ryne, and equally aware that Ryne would never complain. No matter how wrung-out she looked, she would always get back up and keep fighting. It was one of the things Gaia admired most about her. It was also deeply, deeply frustrating. Ryne had obviously grown and changed a lot from the stories Gaia heard of her time as Minfilia, but she was still so godsdamned eager to help! And that only made her feel more guilty when Ryne had to save her, again. 

The Idol of Darkness released its hold on her gradually, the clouds retreating from her vision as she slowly regained awareness and control. She was lying on the same platform she had fought on before, somewhere on top of Eden’s back. And Ryne was teary-eyed, kneeling next to her.

“...Gaia? Gaia, can you hear me? Please say something!”

It took effort, but she struggled to a seated position. “‘m fine, just give me a second.”

Ryne didn’t seem convinced, but she let it go. “We need to get down, it’s not safe up here.” She hesitated for a second, then offered a hand. But things were different in the cold, unforgiving light of the Empty than they were in a dark tent, and all Gaia wanted at that moment was to be left alone. She knew it would hurt the other girl to shrug her off, but she was too tired to care. 

Ryne frowned when Gaia ignored her proffered hand and stood on her own, but Gaia knew she would forgive her eventually. She was so _kind_. 

It took time, Gaia exhausted from her possession and Ryne worn from combat, but they eventually made it back down to the ground. Gaia wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the Empty really was becoming beautiful as it changed. She looked over at Ryne, jaw set and eyes firmly focused away from Gaia. She would want to talk later, she realized. And it was going to be humiliating, but she’d have to put up with it. 

Fortunately, Ryne was determined to ignore her for the rest of the day, and she didn’t have to think too much about what she would say. Ryne threw herself into helping take down the parts of their camp that didn’t stay put between expeditions, and Gaia took advantage of her reputation for wandering off and sulking to do exactly that. She _wanted_ to talk to Ryne, to apologize and explain where she was coming from. But here, in the relative privacy she’d made for herself a bit away from camp, she could admit that she was afraid of Ryne’s response. What if Ryne thought less of her, for getting in the way again? What if she thought Gaia was more trouble than she was worth? She’d be justified in that, she thought bitterly.

Her self-loathing was interrupted by the dull crunch of the gritty soil under someone’s boots. Gaia turned, and saw the Warrior of Darkness approaching. They’d probably been sent to collect her.

“What do you want?” Gaia asked, petulant.

“Just appreciating the view,” came the reply.

Fine. Two could play at that game. She set her eyes on the horizon, wondering how much longer she’d be out here with all of them. Surely at some point they would stop taking her with them, with all the problems she’d caused.

“Can hear you blaming yourself from all the way over here,” the Warrior said abruptly. “Just go talk to her. She’ll forgive you.”

Gaia glared at them, but she knew they were right. She waited long enough that it wouldn’t be obvious why she was leaving (or so she hoped), and then stood to head back to camp.

On the way back to Amh Araeng, squished in the back seat of the vehicle between Ryne and the Warrior, Gaia considered. She didn’t know when it had happened, but at some point she’d started thinking about wanting to be _useful_. And helpful. Helpful, to Ryne specifically. Sure, saving the world was important, but seeing Ryne’s smile felt...more important. She looked over and saw the girl watching the view as it slowly regained a semblance of life. Trying for bravery, she reached out and brushed a hand over Ryne’s. She started, but looked over at Gaia with a look of pure relief on her face. 

_I’m sorry_ , she thought. _I’ll say it out loud soon_. 

  
  


She hadn’t gotten the chance. Ryne threw herself into the process of summoning Ice into the Empty, and Gaia could do nothing to dissuade her. As before, Eden answered Ryne’s call and allowed her to summon the primal Shiva. But this time, it was different. Instead of calling a primal through another channel, Ryne would be the conduit. It was a stupid plan and Gaia could tell her that all she wanted, but Ryne was even more stubborn than her. She was determined, as always, to be useful, even if it might kill her.

The aether swirled around them, and Gaia watched Ryne _change_.

  
  


One of the joys of watching Ryne learn to assert herself was hearing how her voice changed. Still high and sweet, but with an undertone of authority and determination that had not been there when Gaia first met her.

She could hear that voice now. It was too similar for Gaia to completely distance herself. But the voice that emanated from Ryne’s body now was, unmistakably, a woman’s. Fuller, richer, and commanding. Gaia couldn’t look away. 

Gaia watched with terror as the Warrior of Darkness approached Shiva, greatsword at the ready. Their movements were deliberate, as though they knew what they were doing. And maybe they did, but it wasn't enough. Every slash was met with a parry, a wave of icicles brushing their blows aside as though they were nothing more than an inconvenience. The Warrior was fierce, and determined, but their desire not to cause harm to Ryne was evident. They were pulling their punches, and Shiva could tell. With every exchange, they were growing wearier.

A kick to the chest was followed by blades of ice spinning rapidly outward, and Gaia could only watch as the Warrior lost their footing. They went down, hard. Shiva raised her hand, clearly preparing to finish them off, and Gaia found herself running out onto the ice, hammer raised. She couldn't let this happen. Ryne would never forgive herself.

The woman-Shiva-looked down at Gaia, pinned in place by her gaze as surely as if she'd been bound. Terrified but resolute, Gaia met her eyes. Surely there was something left of the girl she knew. Maybe her will had been overridden by the primal's, but she had to still be in there somewhere.

There was not even a flicker of recognition. Ryne was gone.

"Why do you struggle, little one? My path will bring you peace."

That voice again, so like and so unlike that of the girl she thought she knew. In another time, she might have found the voice captivating and beautiful. But as it was, all Gaia could feel was dread.

"You won't bring peace! Your path will finish what the Lightwardens started! _I won't let you_!"

Shiva looked at her with something like pity. "How you have suffered. So foolish to prolong a fight you cannot win." A hand, more than twice the size of Gaia's own, planted itself in her sternum. With hardly a hint of effort, Gaia was pressed backward and down, until her back met an outcropping of icy stone. "I will set you free."

The hand released its pressure, and Shiva trailed it lightly down Gaia's chest. Gaia shuddered involuntarily, suddenly remembering the conversation she'd had with Ryne that night. Did this... this goddess, look into Ryne's head? Did she know what the two of them had discussed?

_She might think of this as comfort_ , Gaia's thoughts whispered, only to scatter again as Shiva found the clasp of her dress. With perverse gentleness, she opened the garment, leaving Gaia shivering from equal parts cold and fear. Her nipples hardened as the icy air flowed over them, and Gaia hoped desperately that Shiva wouldn't notice.

But cold fingers brushed lightly over her small breasts, and Gaia took in a harsh breath. It was the cold, she told herself, the cold that made her sensitive.

The hands lingered, stroking and petting, then rolling Gaia's nipples between her long, long fingers. If she had asked for this, it would have felt good. If it were Ryne, wholly Ryne, it would have given her unimaginable pleasure. But she looked into the face of this woman who had stolen Ryne's body and soul and could not forget.

Then Shiva's hand moved lower, skimming over her hipbone and rucking up her skirt, and Gaia began to struggle in earnest. None of this was right. She wanted, desperately, to explore Ryne's body, to have her own explored in turn. But not like this.

Icy claws extended from Shiva's fingertips. With a careless flick, her smallclothes were cut open, though not without first drawing a line of blood. Feeling the pinpricks of pain, Gaia stilled immediately. She imagined those long, cold, _sharp_ fingers pressed inside her, into all her tenderest places, and in spite of her attempts to show nothing but defiance to Shiva her eyes began to well with tears. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Shiva's other hand brushed the tears away. "Do not fear, little one. Your pain is temporary, and my peace is forever. You need only accept it."

She wouldn't accept it. She couldn't. But she would do whatever it took to get Ryne back. She bit her lip, hard, letting the pain ground her.

The claws retracted, but the cold remained as Shiva's fingers ventured further down. They brushed over the tops of her legs, then, teasing, toward the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs. Gaia's muscles tensed involuntarily as her legs were nudged further apart. This was really happening, and she was letting it happen.

Then, an icy touch to her labia, and she jolted from the shock of it. The touch was featherlight for now, as though Shiva were gauging her reaction. 

A casual flick of her fingers over the nub of her clit and she gasped, hoping desperately that Shiva would not know what she could do if she focused her attention there. She could withstand this if it was only pain. But adding pleasure into it would only break her faster.

Slowly, but so steadily she knew there was no stopping it, a finger pressed against her until she parted around it. 

It felt like she couldn't breathe. The intrusion of Shiva's finger was so _big_ and so _cold_ , nothing like the few times she'd tried to use her own fingers. It scraped roughly against her inner walls as it pushed further inside her, careless of her body's rejection. It didn't matter how tense she was, Shiva was strong enough to push past any resistance. And push she did, adding another finger before Gaia could even think to adjust to the first.

One finger had been the thickness of three of her own. Two fingers, with hardly any of Gaia's slickness to ease the way, was overwhelming. The pain was beginning to make itself known, a low persistent ache that threatened to intensify with every slow thrust of Shiva's fingers. They spread apart inside her, then touched back together as they cycled in and out of her cunt. It felt like spears of ice were stabbing her from the inside. It didn’t matter how slowly Shiva moved, the intrusion was more than her body could withstand. Maybe it would hurt less if she relaxed, but fear and pain kept her tense. Her muscles clenched down hard on Shiva’s fingers, and the woman seemed to consider for a moment before her thumb brushed lightly over her clit. 

Gaia let out a low, involuntary noise at that, one that continued when the thumb made lazy circles around her clit. It didn’t matter how badly she wanted this to stop, the touch had had the intended effect. Gaia had relaxed just enough to allow the violating fingers deeper, with just enough slickness to ease the way. The stretch she could feel deep inside her body made her feel sick.

Then, a third finger prodded at her. She shook her head fervently, somewhere past words. It was too much, it already hurt _so badly_ , surely she couldn't take any more.

But Shiva did not care, or even seem to notice her objection. When two fingers pulled out, three punched in.

She screamed. Even if she had been prepared, with time and arousal and oil, this would have hurt. As it was, it was unbearable. Shiva's fingers were going to tear her apart, she was going to die speared on the hand of the being that had stolen the girl she loved.

She could admit that now, in this quiet space in her head, away from the tears and pain and betrayal. She loved Ryne, and she would do anything to get her back.

Above the ache there was a bright flash of agony, and Gaia knew with sick certainty that something had torn. She felt a wave of nausea pass through her as blood trickled down her thighs, mingling with the slick her body had begrudgingly provided. 

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t fight. All she could do was think about how, in another time, it could have been Ryne’s fingers thrusting in and out of her, Ryne’s body warm (so much warmer) against her own. They could kiss and move slowly against each other, and they could explore at their own pace. But here, like this, Gaia was helpless. She was a toy for Shiva to use, and she couldn’t pull a plan together for escape. 

She was still crying, she realized as Shiva bent down to consider her face. Her expression twisted, and something like pity formed. “Do you not see how much easier it would be if you gave in? You would feel no pain, only calm. Only serenity.” Her lips brushed Gaia’s cheek in a parody of a kiss, and her tongue darted out to taste the salt of Gaia’s tears. “No more agony of choice.”

As though giving Gaia a moment to consider, Shiva’s fingers withdrew. They dragged against her, pulling another ragged sob from Gaia. Her inner thighs were slick with blood and the wetness of her cunt both. Without the support of Shiva’s hands, Gaia slid down the outcropping of icy stone and collapsed to the floor. She hastily rebuttoned her bodice, wondering what had made the torture stop.

The Warrior was struggling to their feet, sword raised. They looked battered and exhausted, but determined to fight. Gaia could only hope they had been unconscious, that no one had seen.

Her hammer. It was at the edge of the platform of ice Shiva had created. If she could get to it, then maybe-

But her hammer on its own wasn't going to be enough. Gaia knew that. In order to free Ryne, she would have to do something else: Darkness, to combat Light. She would have to draw on the power she still didn't understand, the power that scared her as much as it scared Ryne.

But it was the only thing to do. She braced herself on her hammer, wobbling to an upright stance. Faced once again with two foes, Shiva raised her arms. Twin waves of ice surged towards her and the Warrior.

The ice threatened to overwhelm them both. Gaia was out of time. She raised a hand, and beckoned to the Darkness she knew still slumbered inside her. She drew on her pain, her betrayal, her shame. And she drew on her love for Ryne.

Slowly, the aether began to coil around her, twining up her outstretched arm like a vine. She screamed, and pushed the power outward, hoping desperately that it would be enough.

The waves of Darkness broke on the ice, but more followed. Gaia gritted her teeth and kept channeling the aether, forcing it around the ice that protected Shiva. Cracks began to form, and the Darkness wormed its way into them. She was so close. Just a little further and the ice would break. Just a little further and Ryne would be free.

The Darkness was hungry for more aether, and Gaia could tell it was beginning to feed on hers. She didn't have enough control yet to protect herself, but this was all she could do. She forced it further into the ice, and as her energy began to fade she saw deep cracks form. 

With one final burst, the ice shattered. The Darkness swarmed in, and wrapped itself around Shiva's form. Now all Gaia could do was hope. She slumped to the ground, drained of whatever energy remained in her body. Her limbs felt impossibly heavy, and the pain of Shiva's violation still throbbed in her core. 

But she had done it. Her vision began to go gray around the edges as Darkness and Light tore each other apart, cracking Shiva's aetherial form. And beneath that swirl of energy she could see Ryne, whole and unharmed.

She wanted to rush to Ryne’s side and make sure she was alright, but her steps were still unsteady and she could only move slowly. Braced on her hammer, she made her way over and waited the agonizing minute it took for Ryne’s eyes to open. They were hazy at first, unfocused, but as she came back to herself they sharpened and met Gaia’s.

“I...I hurt you, didn’t I?”

Gaia looked at Ryne’s sweet, kind face and couldn’t lie to her. She nodded.

Ryne’s eyes welled up with tears but she bit her lip as though she was trying to hold them back. “I shouldn’t have done it. There must have been another way. I’m- I’m sorry.”

Gaia was exhausted and hurting, but the apology, the acknowledgment that Ryne had made a mistake, it was enough. Ryne sat up and looked Gaia over. She smiled shyly. “I like your hammer.”

Strange as it was, the bit of humor helped. Gaia returned her smile as best she could. “You’re strange, you know that?”

“I’ve been told.” Ryne collected her legs under her and tried to stand, but she was unsteady. Remembering that she had denied Ryne’s offer of help before, Gaia worried that if she tried to help she would be similarly rebuffed. But she had to try, and she was rewarded with Ryne’s hand clasped in her own. Together, they made their way out and back into Eden’s core.

They were still holding hands when they touched back down on the ground of the Empty. But...it wasn’t so empty anymore. Bright lines of greenery traced their way across the formerly-barren soil, now a healthy brown wherever the plant life grew. 

Gaia looked at Ryne and saw the girl’s smile again, as bright and hopeful as the new life all around them. There would be hard conversations to come, she knew. Her wounds needed addressing, as did the Warrior’s. And she knew, she knew viscerally that Ryne would not forgive herself easily, nor would Gaia forget. But maybe the two of them could find a way forward. Together. 


End file.
